this is where it all
starts. if you are already appalled, leave now. it only gets worse.
the really important details
on each race, and plenty of less important details too.
who's winning, by how much
and how we manipulated the results to get it that way.
our big time supporters who
threw so much cash at us that we have to reuse last year's prizes.
Such an amusing photo that I had to share it. I found this
photo on the Italian Rollerski Site: www.skiroll.it. It seems like there
should be a humourous quote to go along with the picture, but I can't
seem to get it just right. Send in your suggestions!
RACES IN AUGUST:
for more details.
We need more races this month! Send
We've had races in Utah and New
Hampshire. Check out the results on the Schedule
& Results page.
See the Overall Leaders on the Standings
We keep on rolling . . .
Faster than the Utah Jazz's exit from the
playoffs. Harder than finding Metallica songs on Napster. More ludicrous
than George W. Bush's environmental policies. And more fun than a bachelor
party in Vegas. It can only be the 2001 International Rollerski Series.
As the International Rollerski Series (IRS)
enters its third year, the IRS Imperial Senate has decided to go all out
and finally back up all the hype that the series generated last year.
We want racing and we want lots of it. We want races from Maine to California,
Canada to Mexico. We want high school kids, we want Master 12's (is there
such a thing?) and we want everyone in between. There is only one problem.
When we informed the IRS finance department of our grand plans to organize
the greatest rollerski series on the face of the earth (thus placing us
on a level equal with your kids' Little League team), we got laughed out
of the office. We figure this was because either (a) we have no money
(or a finance office for that matter) or (b) our flies were unzipped.
So, not being willing to accept the social humiliation that goes with
flying low, we chose to believe that we simply did not have the money
to travel the country putting on rollerski races for every local team
and club. This was devastating to our plans for the best IRS yet. But
just as we were about to give up the whole thing and resign ourselves
to hanging out in the parking lot by Wal-Mart and racing against shopping
carts for kicks, we had an idea. . .
And this is where you come in. Since we can't go to races all over the
country, we want the races to come to us. We want all of you to send us
info on your own races. Is your team having a rollerski time trial this
summer (or fall)? Do you want to have a race in your area and need to
get the word out? We are here to help. Send us info on your race ahead
of time and we will post it on this website as an Official and Sanctioned
IRS Race. Then, send us results after the race is over (a witty, well-written
race summary complete with obnoxious diatribes and scandalous behavior
helps too) and we will post the results and award IRS points to all competitors.
Now, of course, we can't have every little Bjorn in the country racing
his kid sister every afternoon just so he can win the prestigious IRS.
No sir. So there will be certain criteria a race will have to meet. But
don't worry, they are pretty lenient. Check them out on the Schedule
page. As always, we will still have our fair share of races here as well,
but we are ready to take this thing to the next level and we need your
help to do it.
We will also do our best to scour the continent to bring you up to date
info on all rollerski races. Even if you don't submit your race info,
if we find out about it, we'll include it. There might be people competing
in an IRS-sanctioned race who have never heard of the International Rollerski
Series (ah, to be so pure and innocent again). There could also very well
be people who would rather avoid being associated with the IRS, but we
are not above hostile takeovers of races to get the results we want.
So take a look around on the site. Then, get your buddies together and
organize a race. Show the world what you can do.
Despite what it may sound like, the International Rollerski Series, xcskiracer.com,
and all affiliated parties do not condone rollerskiing. It is a dangerous
sport and not really that much fun. Do not try rollerskiing unless you
are a cross country ski racer. By participating in any of these events,
you accept full responsibility for your own masochistic actions and release
the organizers of any liability. We are not responsible for any injuries
(including, but not limited to, broken bones, head trauma, road rash,
and delusions of Per Eloffson-like grandeur) resulting from your participating
in the IRS. Always wear a helmet and protective gear and don't fall.
We are now in our third season of
racing and general mayhem. Check out our checkered past.
6 hard-fought races and a scandal about magic poles.
Lots of racing and even more infighting among competitors.
And of course, don't forget our coverage
in the press.
The Park Record
Salt Lake Tribune